.just me and everything

YY .Wednesday, December 22, 2010.

exams are over! doesn't sound much of an appealing idea after all - when you know that its the last dec hols before you graduate. no more holidays when one starts working. *sighs*

YYY

that's it

1:51 AM

YY .Tuesday, November 23, 2010.

i don't like how school tends to suck the life out of me. it's tough to sustain interests in other more exciting things around when you're trying hard to cultivate the mood for studying, lest sustaining the interest. and ya, keeping up with the pace when there's so many things going on.

YYY

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3:27 AM

YY .Monday, October 25, 2010.

cousin's wedding dinner's tonight. this period seems like it's time for the 1980s babies to wed. i like this theme, classy chic retro shanghai theme. i know it's stupid but i fantasized about my personal wedding list while sending off guests to their tables at the reception.

i'm living in my big fat useless dream. have to poke a hole soon. it's not going to happen!

YYY

that's it

2:31 AM

YY .Monday, October 11, 2010.

a china box, or what ang mohs call it, filled with jumpy little stuff. pretty much sums up what i think: period of uncertainty now.. i'll never know how i'm going to feel tomorrow and what's gonna happen. (at least i know i'm feeling relieved today after finishing with 2 important quizzes)

YYY

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10:07 PM

YY .Saturday, October 09, 2010.

something is telling me to not stop holding on to the foolish hopes and dreams i have. i shall give myself a grace period of 2 years upon graduation, and then stay rooted to sg. maybe.

YYY

that's it

1:16 AM

YY .Saturday, October 02, 2010.

goodbye july.

he was almost saved by a phone call by someone keen to adopt him. however when we called up SPCA, he was already put to sleep. and everything happened barely 3 hrs after we left him.
a phone call a little too late, my last min decision not to see the injection process, and the last day to return the old house keys - what else can i say? 心酸.. the past 11 years with july reeled past, and i still remember everything. he will be a nice and heartbreaking memory. and i think i don't want anymore dogs after thunder. i'm going to devote my weekends to spending more time with her now

YYY

that's it

12:46 AM

YY .Thursday, September 23, 2010.

Moon jelly / Aurelia aurita / ミズクラゲ

some things are best left hidden away from the world.

busy week with a single project. and lesser tutorials as compared all the semesters i had. nonetheless i was still kept busy.

YYY

that's it

10:29 PM

YY .Monday, September 06, 2010.

i'm truly convinced that life is unfair, in many ways and situations which you have no control over, but in many ways you can deal with that damned situation. this requires more effort though, it just runs you down, breaks you apart and questions your perserverance.

everyone's optimism is wearing thin now, the worst is happening, but there's really nothing else we can do. "i wish" doesn't exist in my dictionary anymore. what's worse than worst i can kind of imagine it, but i still wish it won't happen.

let go or hold on, that's just it. just a single thought of letting go and it is over. for this i have come to believe the decision dad made best addresses the situation.

no mood for studying at all :p

YYY

that's it

9:20 PM

YY .Friday, August 27, 2010.

just added a counter - for fun, and a playlist widget, i ❤ the colour scheme i created. nice songs to listen to while thinking through stuff, when you're drinking coffee or watching the rain. supposed to soothe the mind, i need more of these when school starts i guess.

祸不單行 or misfortunes never comes alone. there's been a lot which happened lately at home. have met up with hopelessness many times at night. still wondering but not giving up i guess.. i think there's nothing else everyone could do but to hold on. dad said i seemed "unconcerned" about everything, but please pardon me the nagging. everyone already their own share of worries, till i don't want to talk about it anymore. right now the best i can do is to continue giving lots of support.

YYY

that's it

11:58 PM

YY ..

YYY

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10:22 PM

YY .Wednesday, August 18, 2010.

YYY

that's it

11:56 PM

YY .Monday, August 16, 2010.

holidays (without traveling) seems to bring out the best of the nuah in me. there seems to be so much lethargy in everything i do. and how much i love sleeping. been eagerly attending many gathering with friends, brings back goood memories and of course the company (better when it's with beer/coffee.) probably because i know that come 2 weeks later i'm gonna be deprived of these when i'll find myself once again self-absorbed in school and everything surrounding it. --- i kind of wondered what has led me to feel this jaded. i feel i need to get out of s'pore again, haha but i don't know what for. being out there makes me feel more alive, in control. and what i've read from a friend's: i'm/we're "living in a sterile bubble called SG". i couldn't agree more..

i haven't really been doing nothing so far, i'm not a total piece of nuah sai, i've been packing my stuff into boxes yep cos' we're moving house, and being a dutiful daughter helping out with the housework. (oh of course not as hardworking as my dear sister, but haha less antsy.) i would love to find a job if i could, but situations permit me to stay put a home as the best solution.

(ps: best viewed with IE)

YYY

that's it

3:10 PM

YY .Tuesday, August 10, 2010.

YYY

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1:17 PM

YY .Monday, August 09, 2010.

SU17's over! headed back with yanli as helpers to the programmers. seriously tiring as we had tasking for every single event. it went smoothly fortunately and the weather was way too good. i am in a very serious chaota state, the tannest in my life. way darker than an average malay. had much to comment on the camp but i shall not rant it out loud here, events which i thought were a real success was sea sports, my #1 favourite event and su16 event. for the rest either i wasn't too involved to be able to comment on it or i thought it wasn't up to last year's standard. after this year's of graduating programmers, i'm not too sure if i should stay hopeful..

YYY

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10:43 PM

YY .Saturday, July 31, 2010.

i gotta feeling that next sem's gonna get me real busy. job/masters hunting, house moving, overseas trip planning and a cGPA to maintain.. and SU17's coming! our last camp before we graduate, so why not help out and get soaked in the fun atmosphere and relive our freshie (and programmer) days..?

cheers to the 4 sub groups: MSG, J. Co, Franksters and 黑社会. i could tell much effort has been put into all the planning, but how everyone translates all that planning into a concerted effort remains a challenge. screw-ups do/will happen and it's up to us programmers to react swiftly and come up with a counter-plan.. 加油!

swam for the first time in 6 months. as usual, i'd acquired a swim suit tan line. and we visited her today, feels better and i hope things will get better. we need to come up with a plan, somehow.

YYY

that's it

9:54 PM

YY .Tuesday, July 20, 2010.

it seems weird, but i must be suffering from denmark exchange withdrawal symptoms. occasionally i find myself thinking through random events happened during exchange. in one instance while i was trying to sleep in Stansted Airport on transit to Copenhagen from Edinburgh, i was thinking through everything that happened during the greece-turkey-egypt trip.

and today when i boarded the bus, i thought i saw chulmin. and while going home i thought i saw daichi. when u look at random people at any random occasion, various insignificant thoughts comes to your mind - u can analyse their faces and attires, create stories about their lives and backgrounds, or predict their destinations or whatever. whatever, but they reminded me of those in containers. must be really missing everyone. all these yearning might stem from the dissatisfied life i'm leading back home, possibly..?

later tonight, yanli said on msn, 'life there is so dreamy'. once more, memories from the past 6 months poured out. damn, feeling slightly emotional. i don't know how and why, i start to think of people and events, who i travelled with and to where, container life, etc. anything about everything basically. aish, i really miss everyone, more than how i used to miss any other people. they are all really nice friends whom i wanna stay in touch with. how are u guys doing back home?

met up with some progs today, feels so nice and homely. and also the crossers for dinner at funan's TCC. really HAPPY! catched up a lot. time's limited and i hoped we have more time together, catching up and looking back. too bad zzz is flying back to melbourne sooon. feels great to have a bunch of girlfriends whom u can talk about anything to all these while.

true that i can't escape the social norms and responsibilities. i have to find a stable job with a decent income, to repay the loans and not accumulate interest. probably i'll end up as a grumpy and jaded office lady after graduation.

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/An-Illustrated-Guide-To-The-5-Levels-Of-Inception-19643.html
what the heck is that? it reminds me of taking a photo of someone who is taking a photo of someone, stuff in layers.

YYY

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11:59 PM

YY .Saturday, July 10, 2010.

i'll be home real soon, in a week. it feels so weird, as though i've already gotten used to life overseas, i already feel like an expartriate living in europe. i've long missed home, my family and friends, every single and small familiarities, behaviors and patterns around me. like sleeping on the train on my way home from school, or getting free fastfood discount coupons.. though home is where the heart wants to be, i don't really have the urge to go home, yet. not that the friends i made here are better than the ones back home, or living in Denmark is better than in Singapore; it feels as though i am not over and done with europe, or exchange. there is still so much more to learn and explore. the only consolation is that even that i am back in copenhagen, everyone else has gone home, so no point staying longer in denmark.

whale and dolphin research expedition at the Hebrides of Scotland - something i'm glad that i've finally done it. the number of times i puked on the boat never beats the moment i see a basking shark, fin and full body upclose, and when the minke whale surfaces. there was lots of infomation to gather about them from this trip.. they're changing their feeding patterns, locations.. while we can't pinpoint the exact reasons, there's a lot to believe that it's due to human activities. fish farms everywhere are equipped with this acoustic deterrent device 'ADD' to discourage seals, porpoises and dolphins from coming close to their salmon.. the high frequency ranging clicks it produced are so irritating, when i heard it on the hydrophone. olly the scientist said that seals might be willing to go deaf to steal some fish, but i guess it have somehow harmed the dolphins and porpoises negatively, forcing them to avoid such places where they usually are, and look for alternative feeding spots. aish.. human activities. what the Trust aims to do is to get a better understanding of the animals residing in the Hebrides, gather more data and knowledge, to equip stakeholders with better understanding of the natural environment before they introduce a policy.

life on board the Silurean is surprisingly pleasant! i thought as the only Asian i'll somehow get lost in their conversations, which i did, but it turned out to be a fasinating experience. there was an old English couple, 2 ladies from USA, and a girl living in Scotland. there was lots of sharing and telling, lots of open talk and fun. i really like them all. the skipper and first mate are really great people. i'll put some photos up on fb soon.

lastly, the summer trip to greece, turkey and egypt was SERIOUSLY GOOD FUN. the company and places. the best trip of my lifetime. there's too much i can say but that's all i wanna say.

once everything's over all's left is for one to reminicse and savour every memory of the time of our lives, i think i need lots of time for this..

i have a new motivation to start working and saving up so that i can go to korea, japan and thailand.

YYY

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5:24 PM

YY .Thursday, June 24, 2010.

back from the long trip to greece, turkey and egypt. too overwhelmed to recount everything that had happened. been too many places, experienced too many things. i had so much fun, not feeling tired even that i'm back in copenhagen. 1 more day and i'm off to scotland. (:

YYY

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7:27 AM

YY .Monday, May 17, 2010.

i need to get stronger. go ROX

and it seems like i'm not going to be in denmark for the whole of june.

YYY

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8:51 AM

YY .Friday, May 07, 2010.

was sort of stunned while stumbling onto something on fb. woah, i do feel happy. was a little stunned at myself for still feeling stunned, perhaps numb. hmm why? as for the other case, pure hopelessness turning to apathy. haha. i'm happily evolving into a nun.

things at home feels chaotic on the inside. one simple decision to move has tons of implications. me over here, can't control what's going to happen to july and thunder. there are other considerations as well. i'll miss serangoon gardens for sure. life stops here and everything over in singapore doesn't stop as well. pending problems grow, and become significant for one to care about the time it become troublesome. heartache every night. i miss home, but sometimes i don't want to go back to it. of course i got worried and i rather go home in the end. i need to be there for biaojie. should i start finding a home for july and put up july on fb for adoption? ):

after i reach home, time to add some dollars to my account. i will look for a part-time job, perhaps in jurong point. no more $!

YYY

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4:13 AM

YY .Thursday, April 29, 2010.

leaving for amsterdam and berlin tonight. other things aside, i realize that the academic part of the exchange student life is coming to an end. boo, not looking forward to this. means i'm going back home soon. life and reality seems to have stop momentarily now i'm here, and starting to feel the resistance to go back and resume motion. and finally i'm now an Earthwatch volunteer. YAY!

YYY

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12:53 AM

YY .Saturday, April 17, 2010.

easter trip has long ended, and already i'm itching to go on another trip to somewhere, to move around, travel, to see, smell, hear - experience different kinds of life. will be going to amsterdam and berlin the end of this month, with yawen :) been wanting to meet u here while u're still in sg.

finally did a run, yesterday. approximately 26 mins for 5k. its super lousy in cross country standards. but, running in bulky trackpants and thick sweater is not easy. i miss running in my singlet and shorts, and also my asics kayano. thankfully i've been in good health ever since i got here. no fever, sore throat, cold or whatever.. it must be the good air here.

projects are accumulating, exams are coming. just received the risk report results which me and joann done. i got 2 excellents out of the 3 exercises which i contributed. feeling satisfied. the good thing is for studying/learning here, the motivation i'm feeling now comes from pure interest and enthusiasm, pardon the travel mode slugginess ya, but i like attending lectures out of curiosity and wanting to learn more about pollution/contamination/alternative energy. i'm dreading membrane technology, dunno how am i going to cough out a research paper due june.

i have been attending history of technology lessons with a Danish professor on a 2-to-1 or 4-to-1 basis with joann all the time. we have been discussing on philosophy, industrial revolution, us and technology, us and evolution, revolution, etc etc and we'll gonna touch on the Renaissance soon. Science and Thought, Rationalism and Emperilism, Causality.. all those chim philosophical stuff, mind boggling and troublesome, but really thought provoking. its interesting to know more about history and technology, not via textbook or lectures, but through readings and active discussions. i'm reading this thick book on history of philosophy. it will be a challenge to finish this before i go back home.

i am suppose to make cheesecake tomorrow. its gonna be my first time baking.

very likely i'll be joining a dolphin and whale research expedition. when things are finalized, i'll annouce it proudly on facebook. heh this has been on my mind when i applied for exchange.

personal thoughts and life aside, friends i've made here are really nice, i can guarantee that for the closer people i know. classmates and project mates are kind, no bad blood between me and anyone. though i dont actively seeking people out for dinners and outings, i get invited, and i can always pass by people and randomly start deep conversations when i pass other containers. its alright to eat alone at times, since i've been fallen in love with eating my cheapo carbonara, cooking and preparing own food alone makes me happy somehow.

i'm gonna soon buy coffee powder and creamer. my instant coffee mix is running out. time to learn how to make coffee using that weird little metal jug.

finally, i miss everyone at home. and the food!

YYY

that's it

7:44 AM

YY .Wednesday, March 31, 2010.

halfway through the easter trip, had been to helsinki and estonia and just arrived at latvia this afternoon. everything's been really good and nice, or say that even when the weather's not been nice or the activities are not the adrenaline rush types, i still feel happy at every single little thing that happened.

helsinki - the foggy weather, soumellinna and ice-skating. estonia - the amazing hospitality and how we became friends with more internationals: estonians and koreans. truly experienced the estonian lifestyle. not forgetting the medevial architecture and pastel-colored houses. latvia - awesome architecture. every building is unique. and finally i feel warm.

now i don't wanna go back to denmark that's for sure.

YYY

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8:26 AM

YY .Friday, March 26, 2010.

i have been sleeping after sunrise for the past 2 days, and now its 4am, and i'm not even halfway through with my packing for this easter trip. i'll be back next next monday!

YYY

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11:05 AM

YY .Saturday, March 13, 2010.

experiencing iceland withdrawal symptoms. photos up on fb, but its only some of the 1000+ i had. and time to switch to mugging mode, tons of work piled up, never had this before in ntu - now u know how serious this is.. 2 weeks later - helsinki, tallinn, riga, palanga - 11days.

YYY

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5:37 AM

YY .Wednesday, March 10, 2010.

bade goodbye to Iceland as soon as i said hello.

time flies and 6 days passed.

experienced, seen, and traveled places, natural wonders.

met, talked and known Icelanders.

it feels like, you're walking down a path arched upwards against the sunset, such that you can't see what's in front of you and you're not sure why are you heading in this direction, but you have a pretty good feeling of what's in store for you.

seen/experienced:
the atlantic blue
frozen bubbles in glacier ice
whiteout at glacier hike
rainbow under waterfall
mink whale kebab :(
somehow inspirational arty film
astronaut porn at the art museum
unexpectedly serious htht with a bad macchiato
late night viking beers
golden circle tour
blue bubble
geysir
crater
1 cheese nacho/2min
green aurora
milky way
saturn
totally crazy wind
discussed the Iceland economic crisis with an Icelander
got inspired
mud pots
lava fields
the blue lagoon and first times
understood 'heaven on earth'
got poorer

happy!

YYY

that's it

5:24 AM

YY .Thursday, February 11, 2010.

a failed attempt to go ice-skating this evening, cos the people at the park renting out skates are on strike :(

winter has this hibernation effect on me. don't feel like studying, just want to sleep whenever i'm in the room, and have sweet dreams. i had a funny dream where i was scolding the ang mohs all the hokkien vulgarities :/

this easter holidays i might be planning on estonia, latvia and lithuania. quite unexplored. i'll leave finland/norway/sweden, summer iceland, scotland/ireland, greece/cuba and maybe austria/switz/germany/italy to the summer holidays - if i still afford.

YYY

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5:49 AM

YY .Monday, February 08, 2010.

the weekend trip to malmö, sweden really bring out the wanderlust. now there're many places to go on my mind, and i should start thinking where i wanna go this easter hols.

YYY

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4:26 AM

YY .Tuesday, February 02, 2010.

went shopping alone today after lessons.. therapeutic. walked all the way to the station and storcenter to get groceries and some necessary things like moisturizer. basic things are expensive, wished i had brought more stuff along, so i won't need to spend so much here.

there should be an iceland trip coming up yay! randomly found out that this new friend is into iceland like me! hmm she called along some guys so we'll slowly see what's coming up. what both of us have in mind is 2 iceland trips, 1 winter trip and 1 summer trip. really looking forward to this. there's some inertia in starting the planning but i'll overcome it i assume. the feb trip to london and this weekend trip to sweden is confirmed.

printing in dtu is FREE. i recently found out why: there are so so many readings to be done, much worse than ntu. all courses exchange students taking are at masters level.. i find it chim.

i've been wanting to get this book by haruki murakami ever since a danish friend talked to me about it. i've some items which i wanna ship it from home to here, but i guess its cheaper to make do without them. stuff like cny cookies. the most singaporean item i have is a small piece of bak kwa. random things i see reminds me of sg food. there's finally a rice cooker in the kitchen. so relieved.

first lesson was okay, did not do any reading prior to the lecture, so couldn't catch everything. stoned (with joann), looked at the sky outside, tried finding hot danish guys lol.

YYY

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7:24 AM

YY .Sunday, January 31, 2010.

a little homesick now :(

wonder how's everybody doing back in sg..

it was about -8 today. freezing in the hands and toes, to the point of feeling acute pain the whole time. legs were not warm enough with just 2 layers. copenhagen shopping today with joann and got some jackets. zara is cheaper while h&m is quite trashy.

quite amazed at how many friends i have on fb. thought of the present friends i already have. even with so many new friends, i miss the old bunch. htht all those things :|

and i had more beer than water on most days. or i drink very little water. weird but water is hard to find. i just saw a bottle of mineral water costs 18kr and u need to divide by 3.68 to get sgd. beer is cheaper in a bad way.

lots of weird little things i've thought of but i shall type it tomorrow. din sleep the whole night yesterday.

YYY

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4:21 AM

YY .Tuesday, January 26, 2010.

blog been's rather quiet i realized. anyway the photos on fb has been doing the talking on how life's been so far here in denmark like our trip to kronborg castle. basically here you're on your own. luckily i have joann with me, the first few days was terrible, terribly cold, lonely and bored. it definitely got better. more people arrived, knew more people (container mates & people from the kampsax and kitchen parties), more bread, more chocolate cookies, tastier dinner, more happy furniture in the room. so life's better now :)

the container got more international today. right now there's a healthy mix from lebanon, poland, spain, romania, turkey, mexico, korea and singapore! i wonder who's going to be the last container mate. i hope its a jap or korean guy haha.

i had quite a culture shock during the kitchen party. the kampsax party was gd, nice pasta, dined together and talked among ourselves (i dared not talked to the ang moh boys and the tally jap guy), played table soccer. this time round a lot of us inside a tiny kitchen, hanging tgt, drinking beer and wine, and talking. after joann left, i was the only asian around and got a little afraid. however the people were really friendly, they'll approach you and start conversations so naturally. 3 hours later, i have spoken to a swedish, romanian, danish and another guy. though i can't remember their names, i sure remember their faces. so it was quite an amazing experience. and later at night, the romanians start dancing to the loud romanian music that was interrupting our conversations throughout (:x), and they danced in a neat synchronized fashion. stunned. its like their mambo. (a romanian told me that the highlight of romanian weddings is the dancing), the only one i recognized was the numa numa song. after a while the smoking really got into my eyes, excused myself and went back to my room and sleep.

sunday was rather boring, pious joann went to church with a hongkee and i had no one to hang out with. so i walked to the train station to get cheaper groceries. met weihong along the way who was cycling madly back to dtu to pack his luggage and catch his plane. sadly the super cheap bread ($1.60 for 20 slices) was sold out, so i went on a cookie spree and got myself 7 packets of chocolate cookies ($2.80x7), the cheapest and best around. even better than subway or chipsmore. walked to the campus store and the same bread was sold out. wah so sian i just want to eat bread and i just don't want to get the expensive one. so in the end i did not get anything.

monday was better. went to ikea!!!!!! got more furniture. if there's one thing which i will really spend on besides food that will only be furniture. got myself a round cream carpet which i gian very very long already since hall days, a doormat cos the melting snow is irritating me, tupperwares to put the chocolate cookies, scented candles to nullify the smelly socks, an ocean blue towel, clothes basket.. thanks to yanli who told me to apply for membership card and i saved $25!! anyway i bought the big bag which dad gave and i always use it as a shopping bag. saved $ again. everything here needs money. plastic bags need $. you buy beer the aluminium cans need extra $. u need to return the cans to get back the $. the parties which i contributed beer never get back the cans :( haiyah give and take. think my bad habit is acting up again. ever since i got a mini broom i have been sweeping the floor every now and then.

been adjusting to the crazy weather well. right now i can walk to other containers in just flip flops and 2 layers. however i've heard next week is gonna be -10. that's really crazy.

i had ikea meatballs for lunch. i got myself the 15 meatball set (~$8) while joann and lara got 10. haha thats me and its really filling. the meatballs comes with jam, and whipped potato. so so delicious. at the end of the shopping we bought more meatballs and da pao back. at night i cooked pasta, together with the meatballs in tomato sauce. hahaha so proud of myself cos it was great haha! invited my new korean mate to join us. a happy meal indeed!

anyway it's quite troublesome every morning. the need to moisturize. need to put gao gao everytime before you go out. and wearing clothes too. need to wear so many layers. the thick clothing made walking quite stiff. and my ears get frozen all the time.

in case if you been wondering why i bothered to explain my days in extreme detail is that i've been really bored at night, no one is on msn at 4-7a.m. and there's nothing to do as of yet.

tomorrow is introduction week. time to meet more people!

YYY

that's it

5:26 AM

YY .Thursday, January 21, 2010.

its hard to imagine that i'm almost 10,000km away from home. it felt like i've been sitting inside a jerky dark box for 13 hours and i suddenly see snow when i came out. the journey to dtu was quite tiring for me, with 2 backpacks and 2 luggages, probably 60+ kg in total. from lyngby stn we took a cab to the university, and got lost for about 30min, carrying all our belongings around the campus and asking for directions to the accom office. luckily we bumped into weihong and he showed us the way to our containers. i wld say its kind of cool. something very different. made friends with a healthy mix of international students. went to the resident supermarket and bumped into yanli and her friend in the evening. whole day was pretty much spent on unpacking, cleaning the room, buying stuff to cook. couldn't really sleep, the heater made the room super warm. woke up quite a few times. in the morning i finally saw falling snow, and noticed snowflakes. tried to build a snowman, but halfway cos our hands n legs turned too numb. went downtown through the snow and wind for about 30 mins. seriously cold, but bearable. the locals are really friendly though. we caught little sch kids having a snow fight. saw lots of nice houses and architecture too. sadly hands too numb to bring out my cam and all i wanna do is stuff my hands into my coat till i reached the mall. finally got myself proper boots, prepaid card and somemore decent groceries. the gloomy skies could get u feeling depressed but the snowy environment is seriously pretty.

YYY

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7:04 AM

YY .Sunday, January 17, 2010.

had a farewell bbq at ecp last night. well it was meant to be a surprise but i somehow knew it before it. totally enjoyed myself and really enjoyed seeing everyone bothered to come, meeting up and catching up. those who can't make it, i know its the effort of trying to come but cmi that counts. the gifts and cards are really thoughtful and nice. thanks to my family as well, bbqing non stop and my dear ba wang sister for paying for almost everything. the time spent was short but sweet yay! and finally another plane trip

YYY

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4:24 PM

YY .Wednesday, December 30, 2009.

improved by 0.01 to 4.50. i seem to have some affinity with '0.01' , like losing to the faster runner by 0.01s during nationals. anw difficult subjects which people can da bao i got A+/A. then that easy subject which u have to memorise facts and exam will have recycled pyp questions like challenges of the karang guni man i got B. seriously after receiving so many exam results, i was stunned for the first time, like the opposite works for me. anyway a small improvement still counts. i'll just have to work harder to get 4.51, (if i still bother about grades.) this results issue seem to bother me this sem, ever since my horrible experiences at IO tells me what an env engineer's life is all about, i tell myself i never wanna be an engineer anymore. i wish i have an idea now, maybe i'll find it in denmark.

YYY

that's it

1:44 AM

YY .Tuesday, December 29, 2009.

2009 is coming to an end :| i wonder what 2010 will bring. probably more natural disasters and drastic climate changes, and we need actions - laws, caps and more goodwill. what we can do... i can really make an essay out of this, but i hope in the coming year everyone will get to see the light and start doing their part.

for the first time, i'm nuah beyond hope. i don't know what i'm busy with. i really need to start finishing packing, and get things moving. urghhhhhhh. honestly, i would say i do still feel kind of overworked from the semester. or maybe this is a perfect excuse, since i've been extremely hardworking. guess i have to get over this jaded feeling now. waking up everyday knowing u have lots of things to do, but finding no energy to do it, lest going out or out with friends sucks. at least i've met almost everyone whom i wanna meet. damn i have so many things on my mind but i can't find the right words to type/express it out. its like feeling overloaded with nothing i suppose.

YYY

that's it

12:29 AM