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YY .Sunday, June 10, 2007.

the whole family is SAD

now during these times i like to bathe, cos that's when u can't diffentiate within tears and showering water. that's when i can do everything logically.. and brainlessly. i realise i couldn't hold the chopsticks steadily when i was eating. and when i heard the news, and i start to wonder, and i did not even care the fact i was in a public place, tears start to fall, when i look at dad trying to give me a strong smile, it hurt me more. i know this is the only wat out of the money probs, one day it will eventually happen, the parting?? but i hope there will b a solution. i just dun have the heart to abandon them. it hurts me more knowing that they may not probably feel a thing and not knowing that their owners dont want them anymore, or they actually know wat's happening. and they cant even cry it out. and they'll cont living on.. not even knowing the meaning of their existence. or even carrying the feeling of being abandoned throughout their lives. i never know i love them so much until this is happening. like i nv know how much i love someone until i'm so scared of parting. haiz i dont even know to feel sad or try to cheer up myself. i really feel bad cos i cant transform my sadness and use it as some power to make myself stronger and try to salvage the situation. though right now i really hope to try. everyone is thinking of smth. a solution and accommodations. mayb we'll go through everything one day and forget this episode and forget them. then i think they have lived in vain and we're truly pathetic people. like those neighbours who kept their dogs in cages. barking out whatever shit and u cant even understand their feelings. i'm sure we never wanted to be like them. i actually hated such heartless neighbours. do they know the meaning of their existence? i hope by the end of the day july and thunder know that they have made us know how so much we feel for things we really treasure. i hope we'll nv abandon them. i know probably dad is in the most difficult positions. everyone has their own situations and priorities. they dun even have an option to exercise. i just hope we'll never leave them. i cant believe i need to type out my feelings into words. everythnig is just too complicated. but i'm feeling much better. lets all think right now.

bye bye blog for now. i'm off!



YYY
that's it
11:58 PM