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YY .Saturday, November 22, 2008.

when i went home after fluids paper, i was feeling very slow and troubled - not because of exams! but family stuff. i wont classify it as 'a problem.. wa lao' or 'burden'. but rather some unfortunate events which we have to tahan together. i can't explicitly list it out here, but it was due to 5 family members.. suming up to quite a headache or eh a maths problem which i must solve or think about. firstly, dad and his health and his finances. he has to buy this super expensive machine to keep him breathing properly at night when he sleeps. he can stop breathing up to >10 times per night. and then how long can our current 'funds' tide us through given my dad has been unemployed for a loooong time. and then, his strained relationship with my aunt. both sides are at fault perhaps. but maybe my aunt fault more, which u can't blame her given her condition and history. and then, it goes to this bigger picture problem if u look forward to next 5 years or so. and then my biao, who has been feeling unhappy at the wrong time of the sem - exams. i wonder what's the initial event or thing that cause this whole thing which has been gone unnoticed for so so long. humph.. and then, july who is going to be given away at the end of november. and then thunder who went missing for few hours during fluids exam and then found before i wanted to cab home immediately. and then, u'll realise all these events are linked together. so if u think u can start solving this u're shikamaru! ahhh~ i guess taking small steps can improve this situation. like i'm going to look for a part time job during holiday.. or save up more and spend more time at home to ease the tension whatsoever. or start preparing for next sem so i can more time at my hands. sometimes i wish i have shikamaru's iq. sometimes at every start of the year i would hope it would be better than the previous, but situations never changed, family is still running out of money, my dad is still always angry. but luckily he has a better temper after using the machine to help him sleep better. apparently its some medical illness at leads to worse temper. i hope he would be less mad at mom everytime



YYY
that's it
11:10 PM